Hmmm...

If the US has killed Osama Bin Laden, where's the body?

It's been a long time...

...but I think it's time I started this blog up again. The world's become even more stupid than it was a year ago.

The lost art of conversation...

So, the ISPs (including phone companies) have begun to retain data on our digital lives for 12 months.

Under EU regulations, the "where and when" of all digital communications must be retained. that includes all mobile phone calls, emails, etc. However, the content of those communications isn't being stored. The idea is that a web of associations can be drawn up to link one suspect with another, regulated by the Regulation of Investigatory Powers (RIP) Act. However, isn't this the same RIP act that local councils have been using indiscriminately to detect petty crime?

I'm sure I'm not the only one to figure out that by simply eschewing digital communications, there are literally dozens of ways to avoid having your associations recorded. I suspect that any organised criminal worth his salt will be using face-to-face meetings in anonymous places at pre-determined times, for example. Maybe sales of books and DVDs featuring spies will increase. After all, such stories are filled with the techniques used by the very people whose job it is to avoid having their communications noticed.

The rest of us are simply filling yet another useless government database (of sorts ) with noise.

Jason Lewis Watch... part 94

Well, it's Sunday and, as predicted, the Daily Mail has published yet another story on its RSS feed by Jason Lewis telling us how our privacy is under threat. This is getting predictable. In fact, clicking on Mr Lewis' name shows a long series of sometimes scantily supported stories. 'A spokesman' could be anyone (or no one), for example.

Yes, the idea of Big Brother expanding its reach into the lives of innocent people is something that needs checking, but I keep thinking maybe it would be a good idea to extend my reach into the Daily Mail by calling and asking to speak to Mr Lewis, just to make sure he's real. If he exists, I have a few questions...

The North Korean satellite fib...

The BBC reports that North Korea has failed to get anything into orbit. The US military says that the two-stage rocket and its payload crashed into the Pacific Ocean. The really funny thing is that North Korea insisted for a while that the satellite had reached orbit and was transmitting data back to Earth ...the little liars.

That this was almost certainly a test of a long-range missile capable of hitting the continental US is immaterial. What's galling is that this pointless missile programme exists in the first place. There's no warhead to put atop it. No, what's really galling is that North Korea can't feed its own people. It relies on food aid. It is a country whose borders aren't just to keep others out. It is home to one of the last brutal totalitarian regimes.

The suspense...

Well it's Saturday afternoon. The Grand National has been run, and the football played. However, there's still one thrill left. What will be the scaremongering national security story posted to the Daily Mail's RSS feed later tonight by by Jason Lewis? I can't wait!

MPs have needs too...

"Wacky" Jacqui Smith has submitted an expense form. That's not unusual. Perhaps frustrating for anyone who's ever tried to get legitimate expenses signed off, it's a bit much that hers contained the bill for her Virgin Media cable package. While we leave the tabloids to infer and sniggeringly imply what she may get up to in the privacy of her own home after it came to light that the bill included two porn films, let's examine her reaction to being caught putting a domestic expense through as a legitimate business one.

"I am sorry that in claiming for my internet connection, I mistakenly claimed for a television package alongside it. As soon as the matter was brought to my attention, I took immediate steps to contact the relevant parliamentary authorities and rectify the situation. All money claimed for the television package will be paid back in full," She said in a statement.

Fair enough, you may think, but if her husband (whom she's reportedly "furious" with) could order up pay-per-view skin flicks, it's not a simple broadband connection she's got - it's a full high-speed cable package. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't pay for the internet connection separately in a cable package. It's an all-in-one deal. If the charges for each part of the package were itemised, however, how did she mistake the high figure for the total package for one of the lower itemised charges? Did she even fill out her own expense claim?

There's a far more interesting aspect to this story, however. The natural conclusion many people will have jumped to after learning about Smith's porn bill was that she enjoys having, shall we say, a lovely relaxing time with a bit of porn. Go on, admit it - you did didn't you. However, the films were watched on 6st and 8th of April. Smith wasn't at home at the time. What a let down!

The interesting aspect is that the data collecting facilities Smith wants in place to collate details of our lives will ultimately be analysed by humans who are capable of making equally misguided inferences about us. If she doesn't learn that this can lead to some erroneous yet compelling conclusions that may ruin lives or worse, when the hell will she learn?